Ever had one of those days where you just wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over your head? Well, imagine for a moment pulling those covers over your head, only to realize you’re already six feet under. And not in a metaphorical, ‘I’m having a rough week’ kind of way, but literally. This isn’t the plot of a B-movie horror flick; it’s the mind-boggling true story of Angelo Hays.
The Crash That Wasn’t Quite the End
It was 1937, a time before airbags, advanced medical diagnostics, and probably even decent helmets. Our man, Angelo Hays, found himself in a rather unfortunate motorcycle accident. We’re talking headfirst into a brick wall. Ouch. Medics arrived, took one look, and declared him, well, definitively deceased. His family mourned, and a funeral was held. He was laid to rest, probably with all the solemnity you’d expect for someone who met such a dramatic end.
Case closed, right? Not so fast.
The Most Awkward Family Reunion Ever: Exhumation Day
Just two days after the funeral, for reasons that vary depending on who you ask (often cited as an insurance investigation), Angelo’s body was exhumed. Picture the scene: the coffin is dug up, the lid is pried open… and suddenly, a very much alive Angelo Hays is discovered. I can only imagine the screams, the fainting, and the immediate need for a very strong cup of tea among the onlookers. Turns out, his severe injuries had thrown him into such a deep coma that his vital signs were imperceptible. He was, for all intents and purposes, medically dead.
From Near-Death to Nifty Inventions
Miraculously, Angelo made a full recovery. But an experience like that changes a man. You’d think he’d take up knitting or perhaps a less high-impact hobby. Instead, Angelo became obsessed with one thing: never, ever being buried alive again. And what does a forward-thinking, nearly-dead-but-not-quite inventor do? He invents a solution, of course!
Enter the ‘Safety Coffin.’ Forget your standard wooden box; Angelo’s creation was a marvel of pre-war ingenuity and sheer, delightful paranoia. This wasn’t just a coffin; it was a subterranean studio apartment for the temporarily deceased. It included:
- A small oven: For those midnight snacks, presumably.
- A refrigerator: To keep your snacks fresh, or perhaps for a refreshing beverage after a long nap.
- A hi-fi cassette player: Because what’s a near-death experience without a soundtrack? I’m picturing some smooth jazz or maybe a rousing marching band tune to help you wake up.
Seriously, this man thought of everything. There was also supposedly a mechanism to alert the surface, and even a bookshelf! He was ready for anything, from a post-mortem craving to an impromptu dance party. It’s hard not to chuckle at the sheer audacity and practicality of it all.
A Lesson from the Grave
Angelo Hays’ story isn’t just a bizarre historical footnote; it’s a testament to the human spirit’s resilience, the occasional fallibility of medical science (especially in the 1930s!), and the powerful drive to solve a problem, no matter how niche or macabre. It also serves as a fantastic reminder that sometimes, the weirdest inventions come from the most profound personal experiences.
So, the next time you’re having a bad day, just remember Angelo Hays. At least you’re probably not listening to a cassette player in a coffin, hoping someone remembers to bring you a sandwich. Cheers to that!